The hot seat, sometimes known as the open seat is the cushion one sits on in a circle of people with a facilitator, from which they get to share their present state of awareness. This present state might be a reflection of the past or the thinking mind bringing up memories or other such desires, aspirations or issues one might be struggling with.
This is a Gestalt workshop with Chris Price. A week with a graceful, compassionate leader, offering her attentiveness, love, and support with the utmost generosity.
The first couple of days we met we learned tools to use in this particular form of exploration. Then we opened the seat up, and one at a time we got to witness someone’s work.
Thursday morning. I take my seat on the hot seat, and notice my breath, my body and the environment. Scanning the room, I look at each person sitting in the circle, taking a moment to really connect.
The time I sat on the seat seemed timeless. I felt clear and light. Chris put her hands on my chest or back as support.
“I feel expansion, space, seeing widely, a sense of calmness, of flying. Yet there is an instinct that is searching for a place to land. I am not sure where that place is”.
I pause for a moment to feel that statement in body.
“ There is joy that exists and is not dependent on anything. It is life itself. This joy, this force keeps me going. At a certain point in life I chose it. I saw death; I was tempted by it and chose life. Now when I see death, it does not seem like a bad thing anymore. It is just there, same as life. There is no choosing anymore.”
As I sit, breathing, seeing the whole of the room, people sitting appear to me to have their attention towards me.
“ Take a moment to feel how this feels in your body” Chris tells me.
“ My hands reach towards the earth (well the carpet really) sliding up and down, feeling the earth, the base. My fingers move in a claw motion, feeling, like gathering.
“What are your hands saying, can you speak from the hands’ place? Hands can you talk to us?” Chris asks.
I smile for a moment. “ We are looking to gather these twigs. We want to offer them to you Doron, but don’t know where to bring them. “A nest, would love to have a nest, a place to come back to.”
When I mentioned something similar to a friend, he said that he always had a nest and was always afraid to fly. Now that he hears me, he realizes that the nest allows him to fly even higher, since he has where to come back to.
Is this sensation just a notion of the functioning world? What is this need of? Is there a lacking?
“What is important for you when you think of a place to live in?”
People, I answer without thinking much. “Friends, family, community. I want to be in a place where I can give the biggest hug and have it welcomed.”
I enjoy where I am. I am happy everywhere I go. But I want to feel a sense of connectedness, maybe belonging.
I am now is a place where I can take care of myself, stay in this good state I’m in and still be of service. My origins, my home place, where I come from, is a place with deep connections, with people that need me, yet a place that will be much harder for me to take care of myself. Can I be fully of service when I am in more of a challenging position? I know that wherever I go I will be able to be of service, so how are choices made?”
“How have you made choices in the past?”
“I set an intention. I see in my mind many of the possible options, and then I let it go. I know I can’t make a decision at the moment so I make the whole range clear, and when the time is right, the decision just happens. I know what to choose.
In a way it is what I am doing now. I find curiosity to understand this decision process, especially when it is related to finding a home.
I sit still again.
An image of a ship in the ocean appears. It has an anchor and a rope that connects it to the anchor. The rope seems to be endless. Having limitless length to go as far as I want. I am the ship and I can float or even fly as far as I wish. Complete freedom. The rope is like my connection to the womb, to an endless dark womb, dark in a good way. In an infinite way, where everything is unknown and everything is possible. The rope keeps me connected. I can pull it, and pull it, till I arrive back to my anchor. Is this rope a need for safety? I have always enjoyed complete freedom, enjoyed life on the edge, feeling good with any risk, being fearless. So this anchor, this nest serves as something else; A base, a place that will allow me to go deeper and be available to be of more service.
I feel radiant, a glow. No answer, no mind, just sitting there seeing the rest of the group.
They offer me echoes, words, sentences, pieces that touched them, which they remember.
I listen with a smile. Who was it just speaking? I bow with gratitude. Thank you all for holding the space, thank you Chris for you true presence and compassion.
Thank you all that read my blog.
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