Being used to constant stimulation, needing constant food for the mind, peace is missing.
Sometimes I see just what is. When not trying to get somewhere, to achieve, then the present, the simple, the mundane is as fascinating, as holy as the great event.
Accepting that it might not be an interesting experience to share with others. That it is so simple, that there is nothing to tell. Yet, it is not boredom. It is simply being here, now, being present, without labeling, without personalizing. A dot is boundless. A blade of grass.
Have an Extra ordinary day.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
In residence
“I have always wondered what it is like for those that are in residence? How do you move when you are stationary (by choice) as the revolving door of connections, come and go? Where does it take you? Does time have a different meaning?”
This is part of a greater email sent to me by a friend in response to “love beyond identities”. Her question refers to me being a staff resident at Esalen Institute (esalen.org), or any other “centers”, but I can only answer of my experience here.
Sometimes I wonder if we are not all residents somewhere, within a community we create for ourselves. At a place like Esalen it is more transparent and intense from my experience.
Since I eat my meals at the lodge with a great number of people in transit, people that come for a weekend, a week or a month, I get to meet new people constantly.
It is like backpacking while staying in the same place. The cultures, the people and the new experiences come to me, if I am open to receive them.
It is really up to the resident to decide if they would like to take their meal in a box, and eat at home, or participate in the game of new connections, of explorations and of being an anchor as guests come and go.
So many of the guests here are healing or just finding something different than what they have at home. Many want to know about the place or the experience here, others about my life. Indeed the stories might get repetitive for me unless I find a fresh aspect, a relevance to the person I talk to. These are not my stories but rather moments of connections with another, an opportunity to present a gift to another.
It is harder to develop long-term relationships as guests move on while I stay. Many new encounters, but few that can develop in depth. It is with those that come for a month or a year, or permanent staff that the deeper relationships can evolve. Even though since it is such a small permanent community, it also tends to be like a fish bowl, and at times there is fear of getting to close, since there is no hiding from others or from ourselves if things do not work out.
The movement happens in a smaller space, which is only relative. I find myself in so many places through the people I meet. The journey of participating in workshops here takes me on other journeys. Each connection becomes a new time unit, and time is relative to that connection. At times speedy Gonzales and at Times it comes to a halt.
I could imagine that a teller in a bank has some similar experience, but maybe not as in depth; the constant new faces, and the not knowing who will appear next.
Today is Sunday Change Over, a big day, not only do the seminarians leave and new ones arrive, but also work scholars, those that have spent a month here are now departing. Some of the Yearly leave too, as our months at Esalen rotate around the Work scholar month.
So Monday is full of possibilities, of fresh energies, excitement of new beginnings. Will the love of my life enter to be a work scholar in the kitchen? Will it be a group of great working people? Will there be some yummy conversations or will it be a time to go inside?
Being the constant face, the greeting eyes, the open ears, and the storyteller, the one that shares ideas about life and practices, all this can be rejuvenating or very draining, depends on the day, the moon, the person…
This is part of a greater email sent to me by a friend in response to “love beyond identities”. Her question refers to me being a staff resident at Esalen Institute (esalen.org), or any other “centers”, but I can only answer of my experience here.
Sometimes I wonder if we are not all residents somewhere, within a community we create for ourselves. At a place like Esalen it is more transparent and intense from my experience.
Since I eat my meals at the lodge with a great number of people in transit, people that come for a weekend, a week or a month, I get to meet new people constantly.
It is like backpacking while staying in the same place. The cultures, the people and the new experiences come to me, if I am open to receive them.
It is really up to the resident to decide if they would like to take their meal in a box, and eat at home, or participate in the game of new connections, of explorations and of being an anchor as guests come and go.
So many of the guests here are healing or just finding something different than what they have at home. Many want to know about the place or the experience here, others about my life. Indeed the stories might get repetitive for me unless I find a fresh aspect, a relevance to the person I talk to. These are not my stories but rather moments of connections with another, an opportunity to present a gift to another.
It is harder to develop long-term relationships as guests move on while I stay. Many new encounters, but few that can develop in depth. It is with those that come for a month or a year, or permanent staff that the deeper relationships can evolve. Even though since it is such a small permanent community, it also tends to be like a fish bowl, and at times there is fear of getting to close, since there is no hiding from others or from ourselves if things do not work out.
The movement happens in a smaller space, which is only relative. I find myself in so many places through the people I meet. The journey of participating in workshops here takes me on other journeys. Each connection becomes a new time unit, and time is relative to that connection. At times speedy Gonzales and at Times it comes to a halt.
I could imagine that a teller in a bank has some similar experience, but maybe not as in depth; the constant new faces, and the not knowing who will appear next.
Today is Sunday Change Over, a big day, not only do the seminarians leave and new ones arrive, but also work scholars, those that have spent a month here are now departing. Some of the Yearly leave too, as our months at Esalen rotate around the Work scholar month.
So Monday is full of possibilities, of fresh energies, excitement of new beginnings. Will the love of my life enter to be a work scholar in the kitchen? Will it be a group of great working people? Will there be some yummy conversations or will it be a time to go inside?
Being the constant face, the greeting eyes, the open ears, and the storyteller, the one that shares ideas about life and practices, all this can be rejuvenating or very draining, depends on the day, the moon, the person…
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Love beyond identities
(Names have been modified, and some details too. The basis is true…)
“Marhaba to the wonderful guest of my dreams.
Believe it or not every day you visit my dreams.
I must tell you something that maybe you don’t know it - Doron you made me change a lot. You empowered me, you made me be my self and made me braver more appreciate my self, and you empowered my self-confidence also....”
Two weeks earlier I was sitting at the lodge having a nice dinner with a friend.
“OK, so I’m just going to do it, I told my friend. I am not sure what is appropriate, but I’ll ask.” At the same table in the Esalen Lodge sat a Muslim woman with a scarf around her head. I knew she was part of the Arab and Israeli Women group here, but so far I only had the opportunity to speak with the Druze and Israelis.
I realized that even though I grew up in Israel, surrounded by Arabs and Muslims, I never really had a close conversation with a religious Muslim Woman, and so was not even sure of the correct manners in such a situation.
“Do you mind if I sit?” I asked her. She raised her head towards me. She was young, maybe late 20’s, dressed in a contemporary western style, including jeans and a long sweater, no make up and her hair was completely hidden.
We followed with a quick introduction of names and such…“Are you enjoying the conference?” “Not really, with the whole situation at home, it is very difficult for me. I have a lot of anger about the situation.”
We spoke of where she is from and what brought her here. … Why America and why this group. We immediately switched to Hebrew, as we both were more fluent in it than English. ”I would love to learn Arabic. I always feel weird when I meet an Arab and we talk in Hebrew.” “Why would you want to learn Arabic?” “I always feel that I know more of the other culture if I can speak their language. It also makes the other feel more at home. Speaking Arabic would be a bridge for communication.”
The next day at the lodge, as I was having my lunch, she sat across from me. Are you ready for your first lesson?” I sipped my tea and realized that we barely have two weeks. “Maybe just some info about where to study in Israel? I asked.
“You seem like an intelligent man; lets see what you pick up. I would just want to tell you one agreement I need from you. You cannot touch me. I know there is a lot of touching and hugging here at Esalen and you always seem to be surrounded by people hugging you.”
“I understand and respect that” I said looking straight into her dark brown eyes.
So we started with greetings and simple sentences.
Some of the important things I learned right at the first lesson were greetings, How are you? What do you do? And are you married? Next was how old are you?
She taught me many ways of replying; I am sad, not so great, I feel angry. I had to ask for some more ways of responding with a positive answer.
“ What are important questions you need to know when you meet a girl” she asked me, so after marriage and age we moved to astrological sign and favorite color.
During the meals I found myself one man amongst many woman, women of all ages, very warm and friendly. It was great to join them for meals. It was where it was happening; laughter, excitement, and sometimes even dancing on the table to Arabic tunes. I was their native in a foreign land. I was remembered of my own culture and the immediate intimacy as many of them were trying to set me up with their daughters, sisters or other relatives. It was like a mission for some of them, the questions and inquiries, a lot of warmth.
I kept meeting with her for Arabic lessons. Really after the second lesson, it started drifting to talks about life and values, personally rather than theoretically. The hot spring baths came up, as it is such a dominant part of Esalen. “Why do you have o go naked? Can’t you wear a swimsuit?” “ It is legit to wear a swimsuit” I responded, “Yet why would I? I don’t wear one in the shower at home. I am in a bath, then I shower and when I leave the area I do get dressed. It feels natural and since everyone is naked in the baths it does not become a big deal”.
It is not that she was going to give it a try, especially if she might be seeing a man naked, but it seems like it made some sense to her. “OK, so lets say that the bath is for self cleaning, why go naked in the swimming pool? “ I have not seemed to convince her as much here, and the only request she had was that I not go there naked while she is at Esalen, since she might see me. (The pool is vision distance from the lodge where people mostly meet).
We sat on the bench overlooking the ocean at sunset. After speaking of Islam and the creator, of praying and religious laws, I told her that I do not believe in God. I was amazed to see that she kept listening, that the questions I proposed went deep, and she considered them. Indeed a life long of believes in one-way are not about to change in a moment, and it was also not my intention. Only to share with her my perspective as learn about hers, accepting it as is.
We stared at the ocean, silence, a butterfly passed by and the colors of sky and ocean just kept getting more intense after the sun was no longer visible. “This is it!” I told her, just what we see now. No explanation for where it is from, why and how, just this glorious moment.
She inhaled deeply.
Another day we found ourselves in the community house, reviewing our Arabic so far. I was having some basic conversation with her. She really is a fantastic teacher. First we start with a review, I am never allowed to look at my notebook, then we add some new words and then we drift to other subjects and speak in Hebrew.
“I have something for you. I made it myself.” It was a beautiful beaded piece, with a clip on one end and three threads beaded with beautiful fashion, creating a symbolic peace ornament. The beads were of earthy and creamy tones, very much like her. “These are my favorite colors,” she said while smiling shyly as she handed it to me. Our hands barely touch as I accept her gift. She then went on to talk about her personal feelings. The man she would like to find, her family relationship, the power of her older brother on her life since her dad passed away, the role she plays as an educated woman in her family and the tradition that is still so alive back home.
Realizing how much power her older brother has on her life, just cause he is the man, she tells me of all her wise and sophisticated techniques to still get what she wants. To me it seemed like such a huge effort to achieve what is most mundane in other cultures. It is either following the tradition or risking loosing the family she so loves. There was a feeling of intimacy, of great trust and reveal. As I held the beads in my hand like a mala, they were caressing her hand underneath. It was getting darker“.
I need to talk,” she said one eve. “It was an intense night for me last night. In the group I was encouraged to speak up, to say what I am going through.” She was the more timid one from what I understood. Strong feelings she learned to tame.
“I spoke my truth, and it came out strong. I was given a tennis racket to hit the pillows symbolically, there was crying in the group, it was strong. I had so much anger towards your people. After that I did not want to see anyone. Only you. I wanted to talk to you. I knew you were in the kitchen, but didn’t want to disturb. I passed by the door a few times. I really needed a hug.”
I swallowed, as touch or a hug always seemed to be such a big no no for her.
I was completely honored that she managed to see me for who I am, let go of any identity I was given, realize that I am not Israel or the Jewish religion, but just me. This was one of the most delightful moments of my life.
On the day before her departure, we went on a motorcycle ride. She asked for it a bunch of times, but was concerned if she can be on it without touching me. “ I am wearing a big Jacket that is fully padded,” I said with a teasing smile.
She had such a wild passion caged in her, a readiness to explore, a will to feel completely, and every time something came up, her mind jumped in and told her what was right or wrong to do. It was fascinating to see what seemed to me, the inner struggle between what her instinct was calling her to do and what her logic, or conditioned mind was telling her. I always tried to stay neutral, to allow her to come to the decisions on her own. I would only present my way of doing things, never suggesting that it is the way for anyone else.
When we returned from the ride, we had dinner and then went outside under the stars to say farewell. “I want to thank you for allowing me to be with my self, with my body and emotions. To realize that there is more than what I think and that it’s ok to listen to it sometimes. Thank you for noticing all the little things in me, for caring and letting me feel safe… I have something for you”. She presented me with a large book. It was her final university project about Muslim women in Israeli education system. “It was meant for someone else, but you are the one that deserves this”.
I knew the journey has only begun. That under different circumstances things might be different. We spoke of soul connections, of Love, of intimacy; possibilities.
This was a powerful moment for me. Really managing to meet a person of the most opposite beliefs and ideas (on the surface at least), and to find a human meeting point, a similar place beyond societies’ identities. Seeing clearly through the fog of conditioning, we have created a bridge, a seed for peace. I feel great gratitude to her for the openness, willingness and love shared. May this understanding keep passing on to all those that share conflict.
“Marhaba to the wonderful guest of my dreams.
Believe it or not every day you visit my dreams.
I must tell you something that maybe you don’t know it - Doron you made me change a lot. You empowered me, you made me be my self and made me braver more appreciate my self, and you empowered my self-confidence also....”
Two weeks earlier I was sitting at the lodge having a nice dinner with a friend.
“OK, so I’m just going to do it, I told my friend. I am not sure what is appropriate, but I’ll ask.” At the same table in the Esalen Lodge sat a Muslim woman with a scarf around her head. I knew she was part of the Arab and Israeli Women group here, but so far I only had the opportunity to speak with the Druze and Israelis.
I realized that even though I grew up in Israel, surrounded by Arabs and Muslims, I never really had a close conversation with a religious Muslim Woman, and so was not even sure of the correct manners in such a situation.
“Do you mind if I sit?” I asked her. She raised her head towards me. She was young, maybe late 20’s, dressed in a contemporary western style, including jeans and a long sweater, no make up and her hair was completely hidden.
We followed with a quick introduction of names and such…“Are you enjoying the conference?” “Not really, with the whole situation at home, it is very difficult for me. I have a lot of anger about the situation.”
We spoke of where she is from and what brought her here. … Why America and why this group. We immediately switched to Hebrew, as we both were more fluent in it than English. ”I would love to learn Arabic. I always feel weird when I meet an Arab and we talk in Hebrew.” “Why would you want to learn Arabic?” “I always feel that I know more of the other culture if I can speak their language. It also makes the other feel more at home. Speaking Arabic would be a bridge for communication.”
The next day at the lodge, as I was having my lunch, she sat across from me. Are you ready for your first lesson?” I sipped my tea and realized that we barely have two weeks. “Maybe just some info about where to study in Israel? I asked.
“You seem like an intelligent man; lets see what you pick up. I would just want to tell you one agreement I need from you. You cannot touch me. I know there is a lot of touching and hugging here at Esalen and you always seem to be surrounded by people hugging you.”
“I understand and respect that” I said looking straight into her dark brown eyes.
So we started with greetings and simple sentences.
Some of the important things I learned right at the first lesson were greetings, How are you? What do you do? And are you married? Next was how old are you?
She taught me many ways of replying; I am sad, not so great, I feel angry. I had to ask for some more ways of responding with a positive answer.
“ What are important questions you need to know when you meet a girl” she asked me, so after marriage and age we moved to astrological sign and favorite color.
During the meals I found myself one man amongst many woman, women of all ages, very warm and friendly. It was great to join them for meals. It was where it was happening; laughter, excitement, and sometimes even dancing on the table to Arabic tunes. I was their native in a foreign land. I was remembered of my own culture and the immediate intimacy as many of them were trying to set me up with their daughters, sisters or other relatives. It was like a mission for some of them, the questions and inquiries, a lot of warmth.
I kept meeting with her for Arabic lessons. Really after the second lesson, it started drifting to talks about life and values, personally rather than theoretically. The hot spring baths came up, as it is such a dominant part of Esalen. “Why do you have o go naked? Can’t you wear a swimsuit?” “ It is legit to wear a swimsuit” I responded, “Yet why would I? I don’t wear one in the shower at home. I am in a bath, then I shower and when I leave the area I do get dressed. It feels natural and since everyone is naked in the baths it does not become a big deal”.
It is not that she was going to give it a try, especially if she might be seeing a man naked, but it seems like it made some sense to her. “OK, so lets say that the bath is for self cleaning, why go naked in the swimming pool? “ I have not seemed to convince her as much here, and the only request she had was that I not go there naked while she is at Esalen, since she might see me. (The pool is vision distance from the lodge where people mostly meet).
We sat on the bench overlooking the ocean at sunset. After speaking of Islam and the creator, of praying and religious laws, I told her that I do not believe in God. I was amazed to see that she kept listening, that the questions I proposed went deep, and she considered them. Indeed a life long of believes in one-way are not about to change in a moment, and it was also not my intention. Only to share with her my perspective as learn about hers, accepting it as is.
We stared at the ocean, silence, a butterfly passed by and the colors of sky and ocean just kept getting more intense after the sun was no longer visible. “This is it!” I told her, just what we see now. No explanation for where it is from, why and how, just this glorious moment.
She inhaled deeply.
Another day we found ourselves in the community house, reviewing our Arabic so far. I was having some basic conversation with her. She really is a fantastic teacher. First we start with a review, I am never allowed to look at my notebook, then we add some new words and then we drift to other subjects and speak in Hebrew.
“I have something for you. I made it myself.” It was a beautiful beaded piece, with a clip on one end and three threads beaded with beautiful fashion, creating a symbolic peace ornament. The beads were of earthy and creamy tones, very much like her. “These are my favorite colors,” she said while smiling shyly as she handed it to me. Our hands barely touch as I accept her gift. She then went on to talk about her personal feelings. The man she would like to find, her family relationship, the power of her older brother on her life since her dad passed away, the role she plays as an educated woman in her family and the tradition that is still so alive back home.
Realizing how much power her older brother has on her life, just cause he is the man, she tells me of all her wise and sophisticated techniques to still get what she wants. To me it seemed like such a huge effort to achieve what is most mundane in other cultures. It is either following the tradition or risking loosing the family she so loves. There was a feeling of intimacy, of great trust and reveal. As I held the beads in my hand like a mala, they were caressing her hand underneath. It was getting darker“.
I need to talk,” she said one eve. “It was an intense night for me last night. In the group I was encouraged to speak up, to say what I am going through.” She was the more timid one from what I understood. Strong feelings she learned to tame.
“I spoke my truth, and it came out strong. I was given a tennis racket to hit the pillows symbolically, there was crying in the group, it was strong. I had so much anger towards your people. After that I did not want to see anyone. Only you. I wanted to talk to you. I knew you were in the kitchen, but didn’t want to disturb. I passed by the door a few times. I really needed a hug.”
I swallowed, as touch or a hug always seemed to be such a big no no for her.
I was completely honored that she managed to see me for who I am, let go of any identity I was given, realize that I am not Israel or the Jewish religion, but just me. This was one of the most delightful moments of my life.
On the day before her departure, we went on a motorcycle ride. She asked for it a bunch of times, but was concerned if she can be on it without touching me. “ I am wearing a big Jacket that is fully padded,” I said with a teasing smile.
She had such a wild passion caged in her, a readiness to explore, a will to feel completely, and every time something came up, her mind jumped in and told her what was right or wrong to do. It was fascinating to see what seemed to me, the inner struggle between what her instinct was calling her to do and what her logic, or conditioned mind was telling her. I always tried to stay neutral, to allow her to come to the decisions on her own. I would only present my way of doing things, never suggesting that it is the way for anyone else.
When we returned from the ride, we had dinner and then went outside under the stars to say farewell. “I want to thank you for allowing me to be with my self, with my body and emotions. To realize that there is more than what I think and that it’s ok to listen to it sometimes. Thank you for noticing all the little things in me, for caring and letting me feel safe… I have something for you”. She presented me with a large book. It was her final university project about Muslim women in Israeli education system. “It was meant for someone else, but you are the one that deserves this”.
I knew the journey has only begun. That under different circumstances things might be different. We spoke of soul connections, of Love, of intimacy; possibilities.
This was a powerful moment for me. Really managing to meet a person of the most opposite beliefs and ideas (on the surface at least), and to find a human meeting point, a similar place beyond societies’ identities. Seeing clearly through the fog of conditioning, we have created a bridge, a seed for peace. I feel great gratitude to her for the openness, willingness and love shared. May this understanding keep passing on to all those that share conflict.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Standing on the shoulders of our Teachers
“An artist’s early works are nearly always five-finger exercises that teach him the principles of the style of an older generation of artists, until he himself is mature enough to formulate a style of his own.”
Giorgio Morandi
This principle of practice in art is true for anything. One first studies, receives teachings and the more one practiced them, lives them, breathes them, one begins to be these teachings, to have a specific set of spices for his own recipe.
“ Practice and all is coming”, claims Patabhi Jois. It is not by talking about Yoga that one becomes a Yogi. Indeed, reading and discussing are also important, but it is the practice in every day life that helps the embodiment and manifestation of an artist, a teacher or a master in their every moment life and their sharing with others.
“Standing on the shoulders of our teachers” writes Ganga White. What does that mean to you?
An artist, a Yoga teacher, a musician or even a philosopher all start with studying masters of the past.
Practicing yoga, and studying with great masters is of great value. At a certain point, after substantial practice and time, one might start having this knowledge ingrained within themselves. Once this knowledge is there, the student learns to explore what works for them. Truly we are our own masters. We have all the answers; just don’t always see them clearly. The tradition, the teachers of past and present are guides, are shepherds presenting the grass. Once we can see the grass, we can try and eat it, we can see what it taste like. Maybe we need another field another shepherd, and eventually either we find a grass that is delicious for us, we make our own special blend of grasses or we find a new field altogether.
The Teachers that I respect the most are those that empowered me, not controlled me, those that were sharing all they had without holding back, that were willing to show me all there is, and accept me for who I am.
My joy, my Zen, my understandings cannot be taken away from me, as they are my own experiences, not my teachers or masters. I have learned a great deal from my teachers and masters, but it is through my own practice, my own experience and my own realizations that I have come to be what I am.
I am grateful for the past, for teachers and traditions, and I am grateful for life offering me direct experiences to know what is truly right for me, for my body for being a joyful human in service.
Giorgio Morandi
This principle of practice in art is true for anything. One first studies, receives teachings and the more one practiced them, lives them, breathes them, one begins to be these teachings, to have a specific set of spices for his own recipe.
“ Practice and all is coming”, claims Patabhi Jois. It is not by talking about Yoga that one becomes a Yogi. Indeed, reading and discussing are also important, but it is the practice in every day life that helps the embodiment and manifestation of an artist, a teacher or a master in their every moment life and their sharing with others.
“Standing on the shoulders of our teachers” writes Ganga White. What does that mean to you?
An artist, a Yoga teacher, a musician or even a philosopher all start with studying masters of the past.
Practicing yoga, and studying with great masters is of great value. At a certain point, after substantial practice and time, one might start having this knowledge ingrained within themselves. Once this knowledge is there, the student learns to explore what works for them. Truly we are our own masters. We have all the answers; just don’t always see them clearly. The tradition, the teachers of past and present are guides, are shepherds presenting the grass. Once we can see the grass, we can try and eat it, we can see what it taste like. Maybe we need another field another shepherd, and eventually either we find a grass that is delicious for us, we make our own special blend of grasses or we find a new field altogether.
The Teachers that I respect the most are those that empowered me, not controlled me, those that were sharing all they had without holding back, that were willing to show me all there is, and accept me for who I am.
My joy, my Zen, my understandings cannot be taken away from me, as they are my own experiences, not my teachers or masters. I have learned a great deal from my teachers and masters, but it is through my own practice, my own experience and my own realizations that I have come to be what I am.
I am grateful for the past, for teachers and traditions, and I am grateful for life offering me direct experiences to know what is truly right for me, for my body for being a joyful human in service.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Renouncing
I renounce Judaism, renounce my Israeli title, Renounce great material things and renounce poverty.
I am not anti Judaism, nor anti Israel. I am not, pro Israel, nor am I pro Palestine.
I am, not because I think, not because I work, see or smell. I am.
Choosing a side is choosing violence. Seeing whole and allowing freedom, understanding the conditioning of all, the projections and the fear, being whole with one self, one becomes free and freedom expands from there on.
Knowing this and yet understanding that in daily life actions are happening, arms are fired, weapons are used. There are immediate reactions, anger arises, and especially when close family is danger or even hurt. What to do?
There is conflict. “Conflict arises from self-centered concern” (J. Krishnamurti. The fragmentation, the dividing of you and me, of them and us, create fragmented unions of groups, societies, and nations.
Creating outer changes, trying to look for solutions from the outside, may come from a place of not being capable of change within. The outer change, at times guided by teachers, parents, society, priests or any other authority, is mostly a change based on belief. Instead of believing, lets try to experience. We can listen to guidance, try it out on ourselves and see what holds true for us. Once experiencing is there, we no longer try, just be. There is an understanding, a manifestation of what is.
A message from my insurance company gives tips on how to deal with the anxiety and stress coming from the situation around the globe. Life is changing every moment. One day we have more and another less, one day our neighbors are nice to me and another I perceive them as hostile. Can I accept these changes? Notice if they arise from within my mind, am I adding value to events that are passing by, It is not about putting a band-aid, instead lets find the root cause, understand who am I?
My Dad used to say “Better be smart than right ”. True, he was talking about driving. I remember when I just got my license, and as I was driving our white Audi 80, coming into our street, another car, a red small one, tried to sneak in from the side and go ahead of us.
Knowing that I had the right, and the car needed to wait as it had a yield sign, I downshifted gear and stormed ahead. It was close but I won. 20 years later, I understand what my dad meant. What would I rather, be right and get into a possible accident or let the car go, stay calm and smile with compassion.
This is not a political statement. This is just an observation, just what comes to me now as I head to bed.
I am not anti Judaism, nor anti Israel. I am not, pro Israel, nor am I pro Palestine.
I am, not because I think, not because I work, see or smell. I am.
Choosing a side is choosing violence. Seeing whole and allowing freedom, understanding the conditioning of all, the projections and the fear, being whole with one self, one becomes free and freedom expands from there on.
Knowing this and yet understanding that in daily life actions are happening, arms are fired, weapons are used. There are immediate reactions, anger arises, and especially when close family is danger or even hurt. What to do?
There is conflict. “Conflict arises from self-centered concern” (J. Krishnamurti. The fragmentation, the dividing of you and me, of them and us, create fragmented unions of groups, societies, and nations.
Creating outer changes, trying to look for solutions from the outside, may come from a place of not being capable of change within. The outer change, at times guided by teachers, parents, society, priests or any other authority, is mostly a change based on belief. Instead of believing, lets try to experience. We can listen to guidance, try it out on ourselves and see what holds true for us. Once experiencing is there, we no longer try, just be. There is an understanding, a manifestation of what is.
A message from my insurance company gives tips on how to deal with the anxiety and stress coming from the situation around the globe. Life is changing every moment. One day we have more and another less, one day our neighbors are nice to me and another I perceive them as hostile. Can I accept these changes? Notice if they arise from within my mind, am I adding value to events that are passing by, It is not about putting a band-aid, instead lets find the root cause, understand who am I?
My Dad used to say “Better be smart than right ”. True, he was talking about driving. I remember when I just got my license, and as I was driving our white Audi 80, coming into our street, another car, a red small one, tried to sneak in from the side and go ahead of us.
Knowing that I had the right, and the car needed to wait as it had a yield sign, I downshifted gear and stormed ahead. It was close but I won. 20 years later, I understand what my dad meant. What would I rather, be right and get into a possible accident or let the car go, stay calm and smile with compassion.
This is not a political statement. This is just an observation, just what comes to me now as I head to bed.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sacred Land
It’s a sunny winter day. Riding my bike along the gorgeous coastline of Big Sur. The light this time of year has a unique quality; great dark rocks rise from the ocean, super crisp against the deep blue ocean. Blue sky, soft streaks of clouds get cut off by a dramatic line of dissolving white fluff a silent commercial jet plane leaves behind.
As I lean into the curve on my Suzuki Katana 750, a wide wing bird takes a deep dive to its pray. I hear the sound of the waves crashing the cliffs mixed with the Katana’s engine as I twist the handle to accelerate coming out of the curve.
After buying some fuel at Big Sur at almost double the price of Monterey, yet still half the price of a gallon at Esalen, I head back and stop at the bakery for a cup of coffee and a croissant. On the wooden bench in front of a long natural curved wooden table lay the New York Times. I read it front to back leaving only the sports section out, getting a sense of the whole entire world, I contemplate the place I am now.
Air strikes fly over Gaza, while I look over the peaceful mountains of Big Sur. People consider this land sacred. Others consider the land in Jerusalem to be sacred.
Here it seems people tend to the land and try to preserve it as much as possible because it is sacred. In Israel (or Palestine) people shed blood, for it is sacred.
“It is the ancient Indians that made this place sacred” told me a friend a few days ago. I assume they decided it to be sacred for the richness of the land, for the hot springs, and streams, for the Great Ocean, and dramatic coastline. Then, is it the beauty, the abundance or the intention of the people that make the land sacred? In Israel it seems to be memory; history, which is part of the past, religions that relay on the past as part of its presence. A connection to people that lived on that land, people that had rituals, experiences, lives and deaths on that land.
Can any land be sacred? Can I create a magnificent garden with a huge dramatic rock in the center and call it sacred, a place for people to come and worship peace? This place will be sacred to all, to anyone that wishes to be there in peace.
It seems to me that when one place is declared as sacred, it assumes another is not. Sacredness creates duality, a sense of priority over another.
Do I take care of Big Sur better than I take care of NY? Just because NY might host more greed, or might have more concrete, do I spit my gum on the sidewalk?
What if we treated all land as sacred? Took care of everything we see with care and respect. By not choosing, not taking sides; can there be more harmony, more equal care and understanding. Can we accept differences without needing to change, to control or project our point of view?
It starts with me, here at this table, accepting the SUV’s arriving to fill up their tanks, greeting them with the same warm hello I great the Prius Drivers.
I shall keep riding my motorcycle for now, even as the weather is getting colder as my own act of freedom, my own little contribution to reducing consumption of oil.
I bundle up for the ride back, grateful for the hot natural spring baths that await me at the end of the ride.
As I lean into the curve on my Suzuki Katana 750, a wide wing bird takes a deep dive to its pray. I hear the sound of the waves crashing the cliffs mixed with the Katana’s engine as I twist the handle to accelerate coming out of the curve.
After buying some fuel at Big Sur at almost double the price of Monterey, yet still half the price of a gallon at Esalen, I head back and stop at the bakery for a cup of coffee and a croissant. On the wooden bench in front of a long natural curved wooden table lay the New York Times. I read it front to back leaving only the sports section out, getting a sense of the whole entire world, I contemplate the place I am now.
Air strikes fly over Gaza, while I look over the peaceful mountains of Big Sur. People consider this land sacred. Others consider the land in Jerusalem to be sacred.
Here it seems people tend to the land and try to preserve it as much as possible because it is sacred. In Israel (or Palestine) people shed blood, for it is sacred.
“It is the ancient Indians that made this place sacred” told me a friend a few days ago. I assume they decided it to be sacred for the richness of the land, for the hot springs, and streams, for the Great Ocean, and dramatic coastline. Then, is it the beauty, the abundance or the intention of the people that make the land sacred? In Israel it seems to be memory; history, which is part of the past, religions that relay on the past as part of its presence. A connection to people that lived on that land, people that had rituals, experiences, lives and deaths on that land.
Can any land be sacred? Can I create a magnificent garden with a huge dramatic rock in the center and call it sacred, a place for people to come and worship peace? This place will be sacred to all, to anyone that wishes to be there in peace.
It seems to me that when one place is declared as sacred, it assumes another is not. Sacredness creates duality, a sense of priority over another.
Do I take care of Big Sur better than I take care of NY? Just because NY might host more greed, or might have more concrete, do I spit my gum on the sidewalk?
What if we treated all land as sacred? Took care of everything we see with care and respect. By not choosing, not taking sides; can there be more harmony, more equal care and understanding. Can we accept differences without needing to change, to control or project our point of view?
It starts with me, here at this table, accepting the SUV’s arriving to fill up their tanks, greeting them with the same warm hello I great the Prius Drivers.
I shall keep riding my motorcycle for now, even as the weather is getting colder as my own act of freedom, my own little contribution to reducing consumption of oil.
I bundle up for the ride back, grateful for the hot natural spring baths that await me at the end of the ride.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Gratitude List
Every day I remember people in my life, I remember why I am grateful for knowing them, I feel blesses for what they have shared with me. Spending time together as family, friends or colleagues, new perspectives have been brought to my attention. Happy moments, a listening ear, great talks, trust, a teaching about patience…
I find it wonderful to add a person or two daily, just to keep me in the gratitude mode. Feels like my heart is now borderless, hugging the infinite from all sides ☺, encompassing the seed and the fruit.
The list is constantly growing. I have posted just a few as samples while I keep the list on my own records.
Sara H: the ability to move on and teaching me it is never too late, being an angel in my life.
Shlomo H: Family, friends and family again
Coby H: knowing there is someone to count on
Yossi H: living life, family first, appreciating the details
Gil H: Patience, acceptance, and goodness, being my best friend
Eli W: friendship, artistic love and values
Solo M: endless talks, assertiveness, openness
Eran Y: exploring the meaning of life, realizing death
Oren A: simplicity, acceptance, love of science and the nature world
Amir C, dedication to art, loyalty, sticking to values
Cheli W, kindness, humbleness and endless laughter
Yotam C: friendship and following the heart
Doron P: always pushing for more creative work, never afraid to explore deeper
Peta C: living simply, family and friends first, caring for change
Tamar K: love with no terms, honest compassion
Hadas R: a growing up stimulation and teaching me the value of partnership
Keren G: being kind, adventuress and inspiring
Keren C: being my teenage romance
Amnon H: ultimate friendship with no terms
Kelly A: kindness, softness, the love to share with those in need
Adarsh W: dedication and humbleness
Helleen W: love, friendship and acceptance
Tony W: spending some fantastic times in Boulder
Richard M: creative trust in me
Fiona W: generosity and the ability to communicate without words
Ross S: generosity and the will to look inside
Richard F: reminding me the essence of things
Mary T: showing me a true Bodhisattva
Murray S: sharing with me so many NY moments
Yael G: Not to take myself too serious
Amber: no judgment, just listen
Elie T: trust in young talent
Tat L: giving with no terms. Understanding without words
Tamar H: Never giving up on love
Delphine: Romance, the touch of hearts
Shai S: friendships are timeless
Dan A: respect to friends
Uri D: Friendship, giving because a friend needs
Orly D: Joy, movement, care, dance, and love
Narasimha: What a true teacher looks like, brightness
Shugen: service, the art of selflessness
Tom: Instant generosity
Elly: the light of love, freedom, the meaning of a touch
Jeremy T: Total friendship, openness, dealing with truth
Jennifer L: High five, sharing of self
Tamar M: Family, love is of many types
Arletty: a moment, love and care, beauty and a shine
Irit A: sharing, friendship Israeli style
Nirchukah: the meaning of family, trust, love
Daniel sun: values, family, care, and humbleness
Shahar H: joy, optimism, smiles and the love of love
Or H: dedication, persistence
Noga H: Love for those in need, service, dedication
Dod Micha: simplicity, love of travel, curiosity, and knowledge
Joe R: sangha, dedication, dance
Laura D: Listening, boundless friendship, kindness, trust,
Elly K: Limitless love, communication, compassion
I find it wonderful to add a person or two daily, just to keep me in the gratitude mode. Feels like my heart is now borderless, hugging the infinite from all sides ☺, encompassing the seed and the fruit.
The list is constantly growing. I have posted just a few as samples while I keep the list on my own records.
Sara H: the ability to move on and teaching me it is never too late, being an angel in my life.
Shlomo H: Family, friends and family again
Coby H: knowing there is someone to count on
Yossi H: living life, family first, appreciating the details
Gil H: Patience, acceptance, and goodness, being my best friend
Eli W: friendship, artistic love and values
Solo M: endless talks, assertiveness, openness
Eran Y: exploring the meaning of life, realizing death
Oren A: simplicity, acceptance, love of science and the nature world
Amir C, dedication to art, loyalty, sticking to values
Cheli W, kindness, humbleness and endless laughter
Yotam C: friendship and following the heart
Doron P: always pushing for more creative work, never afraid to explore deeper
Peta C: living simply, family and friends first, caring for change
Tamar K: love with no terms, honest compassion
Hadas R: a growing up stimulation and teaching me the value of partnership
Keren G: being kind, adventuress and inspiring
Keren C: being my teenage romance
Amnon H: ultimate friendship with no terms
Kelly A: kindness, softness, the love to share with those in need
Adarsh W: dedication and humbleness
Helleen W: love, friendship and acceptance
Tony W: spending some fantastic times in Boulder
Richard M: creative trust in me
Fiona W: generosity and the ability to communicate without words
Ross S: generosity and the will to look inside
Richard F: reminding me the essence of things
Mary T: showing me a true Bodhisattva
Murray S: sharing with me so many NY moments
Yael G: Not to take myself too serious
Amber: no judgment, just listen
Elie T: trust in young talent
Tat L: giving with no terms. Understanding without words
Tamar H: Never giving up on love
Delphine: Romance, the touch of hearts
Shai S: friendships are timeless
Dan A: respect to friends
Uri D: Friendship, giving because a friend needs
Orly D: Joy, movement, care, dance, and love
Narasimha: What a true teacher looks like, brightness
Shugen: service, the art of selflessness
Tom: Instant generosity
Elly: the light of love, freedom, the meaning of a touch
Jeremy T: Total friendship, openness, dealing with truth
Jennifer L: High five, sharing of self
Tamar M: Family, love is of many types
Arletty: a moment, love and care, beauty and a shine
Irit A: sharing, friendship Israeli style
Nirchukah: the meaning of family, trust, love
Daniel sun: values, family, care, and humbleness
Shahar H: joy, optimism, smiles and the love of love
Or H: dedication, persistence
Noga H: Love for those in need, service, dedication
Dod Micha: simplicity, love of travel, curiosity, and knowledge
Joe R: sangha, dedication, dance
Laura D: Listening, boundless friendship, kindness, trust,
Elly K: Limitless love, communication, compassion
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Free Box Fashion Show
Monday 4:00 pm, I walk into Huxley (the largest meeting room at Esalen), and I see Mac building the stage. 4x8 feet sheets of wood about two feet high, colored in blue. It looked large and “chubby”. I wanted a more slender look to allow for voluptuousness to walk on it freely.
We rearranged the stage to a T shape, with a little round finish at the tip. We didn’t have much to work with. This was a production made of all we can gather from the kindness of others.
Kyleigh and myself, the organizers of this fashion show, were intending to make it a fun and good-looking fashion show, a celebration, an evening of light and festivities.
Esalen has a beautiful concept that functions amazingly – the free box. There are two spots near both laundry centers, where people are welcome to leave anything they no longer need. Mostly clothes and accessories occupy the space, but one might find books, DVD’s, a speaker, cream, make up and many other surprises.
It is a spot of free exchange. No need to throw away. What doesn’t fit you today might be just right for me. Got tired of that dress, leave it in the free box; someone will make good use of it. Whatever is not taken within a month goes to goodwill, a big store for used clothing.
So this fashion show is not about buying expensive clothes, not about showing off the latest trend, but about expressing, about reusing, being creative, and pushing the edge.
Pearl brought us fabrics that we used as a shining drape for a backdrop and as a skirt for the whole stage. A long rope light dressed the upper edge of the stage, colored gels were added to the spotlights already hanging, Christmas light were thrown under the stage behind the fabric to add sparkle, and Anthony shared some of his DJ party lights.
While setting up, Susan was playing some fun tunes for us, others were giving a hand in setting pillows around for the audience, last minute recruiting of hair and make up talent to help those getting ready, and even a few people just trying out the catwalk.
After dinner Huxley was full of people. The office, and bookstore were converted into back stage dressing rooms, and the action was happening. A fabulous woman that in daily life appears as a powerful man, the hippies and 60’s group representing the origins of Esalen, the glittery shining group with sparkles and sequences, The Gods and Goddesses with other mythology creators walking with glory, the ultra sexy people that came up and shared their love, the Burlesque act and the Esalen Parade.
The music was rocking, the crowd was cheering, and the runway walkers performing, the whole room felt like a celebration, a beautiful feast of lights, décor and glamor, of hand made outfits that looked so delicious, of human potential living life, revealing its love for joy and party.
Thank you all who helped make this happen, Great feedback was still floating around a week after.
We rearranged the stage to a T shape, with a little round finish at the tip. We didn’t have much to work with. This was a production made of all we can gather from the kindness of others.
Kyleigh and myself, the organizers of this fashion show, were intending to make it a fun and good-looking fashion show, a celebration, an evening of light and festivities.
Esalen has a beautiful concept that functions amazingly – the free box. There are two spots near both laundry centers, where people are welcome to leave anything they no longer need. Mostly clothes and accessories occupy the space, but one might find books, DVD’s, a speaker, cream, make up and many other surprises.
It is a spot of free exchange. No need to throw away. What doesn’t fit you today might be just right for me. Got tired of that dress, leave it in the free box; someone will make good use of it. Whatever is not taken within a month goes to goodwill, a big store for used clothing.
So this fashion show is not about buying expensive clothes, not about showing off the latest trend, but about expressing, about reusing, being creative, and pushing the edge.
Pearl brought us fabrics that we used as a shining drape for a backdrop and as a skirt for the whole stage. A long rope light dressed the upper edge of the stage, colored gels were added to the spotlights already hanging, Christmas light were thrown under the stage behind the fabric to add sparkle, and Anthony shared some of his DJ party lights.
While setting up, Susan was playing some fun tunes for us, others were giving a hand in setting pillows around for the audience, last minute recruiting of hair and make up talent to help those getting ready, and even a few people just trying out the catwalk.
After dinner Huxley was full of people. The office, and bookstore were converted into back stage dressing rooms, and the action was happening. A fabulous woman that in daily life appears as a powerful man, the hippies and 60’s group representing the origins of Esalen, the glittery shining group with sparkles and sequences, The Gods and Goddesses with other mythology creators walking with glory, the ultra sexy people that came up and shared their love, the Burlesque act and the Esalen Parade.
The music was rocking, the crowd was cheering, and the runway walkers performing, the whole room felt like a celebration, a beautiful feast of lights, décor and glamor, of hand made outfits that looked so delicious, of human potential living life, revealing its love for joy and party.
Thank you all who helped make this happen, Great feedback was still floating around a week after.
Sustainable Yoga – The workshop
Friday Eve, 8:30 pm, opening circle, different people from different places, with wide gamut of practices.
We are here to learn about Yoga, about creating a practice for life, a practice that involves the body, the breath, and an intention to be present. To use only what needs to be used when is necessary. The mind sits still when there is no need to think. The legs rest when there is no need to walk.
Realizing that even though we all have a basic element that is the same as each other, we also have a physical construction and constitution that is unique. A body type that has specific needs, unique qualities that allow for certain characteristics to be more defined, more emphasized.
After looking at out body types from an Ayurvedic approach, we see how this relates to our practice. “ There many elements that we need to consider time and time again. The weather, the surroundings, how we feel at this moment, how do we want to feel after the practice…and all these elements flux on a regular basis…so to really have a safe practice, a practice that can last throughout life with joy and ease…There is no other way but to be your own master, to learn for yourself what is right for you. My intention is to provide tools to help you clarify for yourself what is right and safe for you at any given moment.”
The weekend flowed from Asana (yoga poses) practice, to breath, from alignment to understanding our body types and needs within the movement; a practice of fire, or creating energy, or one of slowing down of grounding. We learned the practice of the Big S – surrender, and related philosophy into our presence.
Friends commented on how glowing I am, or the light they see in me, I smiled as I know this is all thanks to the practitioners, their dedication and love, to those that came to study and share their energies.
The weekend went by very fast. It was just a moment ago that I was sitting in a Gestalt group (see previous blog entry), and now I was completely in the teachings of yoga and life. And just as the weekend ended, it flowed into staff week, into the free box fashion show, a whole new atmosphere (see next entry).
We are here to learn about Yoga, about creating a practice for life, a practice that involves the body, the breath, and an intention to be present. To use only what needs to be used when is necessary. The mind sits still when there is no need to think. The legs rest when there is no need to walk.
Realizing that even though we all have a basic element that is the same as each other, we also have a physical construction and constitution that is unique. A body type that has specific needs, unique qualities that allow for certain characteristics to be more defined, more emphasized.
After looking at out body types from an Ayurvedic approach, we see how this relates to our practice. “ There many elements that we need to consider time and time again. The weather, the surroundings, how we feel at this moment, how do we want to feel after the practice…and all these elements flux on a regular basis…so to really have a safe practice, a practice that can last throughout life with joy and ease…There is no other way but to be your own master, to learn for yourself what is right for you. My intention is to provide tools to help you clarify for yourself what is right and safe for you at any given moment.”
The weekend flowed from Asana (yoga poses) practice, to breath, from alignment to understanding our body types and needs within the movement; a practice of fire, or creating energy, or one of slowing down of grounding. We learned the practice of the Big S – surrender, and related philosophy into our presence.
Friends commented on how glowing I am, or the light they see in me, I smiled as I know this is all thanks to the practitioners, their dedication and love, to those that came to study and share their energies.
The weekend went by very fast. It was just a moment ago that I was sitting in a Gestalt group (see previous blog entry), and now I was completely in the teachings of yoga and life. And just as the weekend ended, it flowed into staff week, into the free box fashion show, a whole new atmosphere (see next entry).
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